What If…

(this is me. and maybe, just maybe – this is you too.)

Brian Halterman

What if the voices in my head
weren’t the loudest ones I listened to?
What if the lies I learned as a kid
you’re not worthy, 
you’ll never be enough
were nothing 
but static from a broken tape?
What if I stopped 
pressing play on shame,
and finally silenced
the soundtrack of self-doubt?

What if the bruises in my story
weren’t proof of failure
but evidence of survival?
What if I stopped hiding the broken parts,
the scars and cracks 
that others told me to erase –
and started seeing them
as stained glass,
catching the light just right?

What if I believed that I belong?
Not when I’m polished, 
perfect, 
or approved –
but now.
As I am.
Right here.
Right now.
Messy. 
Glorious. 
Becoming.

What if I traded the question
“Who do they want me to be?”
for “Who was I created to be?”

What if I stopped 
shrinking, smoothing, and apologizing
just to fit in spaces
I was never meant to be small in?

What if I roared 
instead of whispered?

What if I danced through the fire,
not because I wanted the heat –
but because I knew 
the flames couldn’t burn
what was already
refined in the dark?

What if I let go of “perfect”?
Let the walls crack.
Let the light in.
Let the tears fall without shame.
Let the love in, too.
All of it.

What if I told the truth –
That sometimes 
I still feel like a fraud.
That I question my place.
That I compare, sabotage, 
and self-destruct.
But what if I also remembered –
I’m still standing.
Still fighting.
Still worthy.

What if I stopped waiting for someone
to hand me the key,
the permission slip, 
the applause?
What if I walked through the door anyway –
bruised, 
bold, 
brave –
and called it freedom?

What if I looked in the mirror
and finally said,
“You are not too much.
You are not too broken.
You are not invisible.
You are enough.”
And believed it?

What if love stepped in –
not just from others, 
but from me,
to me,
for me?

What if…
that was the voice I chose to follow?